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How to love and accept yourself

Moving beyond pain, anger and fear while learning to love, forgive and love some more

Face your fears.
Forgive yourself.
Open up to love.

I’ve been doing the “May Cause Miracles” journey for a month now. And these are the messages I am embedding in my mind.

It’s been an incredible and enlightening journey, one that has allowed me to dig deep into my past and excavate the fears that have kept me in the dark.

It moved me to release pain, anger, envy, regret, washing away all the blackness of my mind.

It wasn’t an easy journey. There was one whole week when I could barely keep up with the exercises because too much negative emotion has taken over me.

Looking back now, I see that period as a kind of purging, cleansing and letting go.

Ultimately, I am learning to love myself more.

Funny how I thought loving oneself should be the easiest thing. But as I’ve discovered, we hate and hurt ourselves in so many ways without us even knowing.

Too often we accept the trash talk our fears throw at us.

You’re not good enough.
You don’t deserve this.
You’re never gonna lose weight.
She is so much better than you.
Your dreams will never come true.

And we can choose to continue living in fear.

Or we can choose to stop.

And only let love in.

So this week, as we wrap up the month’s intention of Self Love, I invite you to focus on the intention of ACCEPTANCE.

Accept yourself. Accept only love.

Accept yourself

It started out as a conversation among friends. We were talking about achievements and where we are now in our lives. We were sharing ideas and plans for the future.

And you know how, sometimes, you get that tight feeling in your chest? Those mixed feelings of longing and dare I say it… envy.

I wish I had what they are having.

If my skin could change color to match my thoughts, I would have turned a bright neon green.

And this kind of envy can strike anytime.

You stumble upon another mom’s blog and her poignant writing… I wish I could write as beautifully as her.

You see another with thousands of followers on Twitter… I wish I had just as many or more fans than her.

You find a picture perfect kitchen on Pinterest… I wish my kitchen were that beautiful.

I wish… I wish… I wish… It could go on and on and on.

And whether we admit it or not, something inside us is wired to compare ourselves to anyone at any given moment.

Either we feel we’re much better than others, or we feel we’re worse off than they are.

One of the biggest shifts I experienced as I journeyed through “May Cause Miracles” was becoming aware of how a misguided ego can sabotage your life.

The ego thrives on envy, separation, insecurity, worry, chaos and fear. It feeds on any negative emotion you are experiencing.

The ego is the biggest block against Self Love.

At first, I resented this ego and its presence in my life.

But I realized that loving myself means accepting every part of me.

I’ve accepted this ego as a teacher. Whenever I feel the darkness of negative emotions starting to take over, it’s a reminder that I’m deviating from my true nature: light and love.

Loving yourself is a conscious choice to:

  • accept who you are – fabulosity, flaws and all
  • forgive yourself every time, let go and move on
  • change willingly
  • recognize and raise your self – worth

Whenever you feel like comparing yourself to somebody… STOP.

Choose to focus on yourself instead. There is absolutely no one in this world who can be like you. You are amazing just the way you are.

Whenever you feel like beating yourself up for your perceived failures… STOP.

Choose to accept what is for now, change what you can, let go of those you can’t and move forward.

Whenever you feel you’re unworthy or undeserving… STOP.

Choose to value yourself because you are so worth it.

Accept only love

Self love takes a lot of practice. I’ve been doing it for a month, and I’m not even halfway to the hundred percent mark.

There will definitely be challenges that might bring back old habits of egoistic self sabotage.

Bad things happen. People will try to bring you down. Situations will not always go your way.

But here’s the thing:

Even if you cannot control what happens around you, you can always control how you will respond.

Nothing and nobody can bring you down without your permission.

You allow everything that happens to you.

Give yourself permission to cut out all the toxic people in your life.

Say no to things that make you feel down.

And surround yourself with people and things that you truly love.

I used to depend on other people for love. But after going through this journey, I know now more than ever, that loving myself is all up to me.

How will you practice acceptance this week?

So much love,