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Three things I learned from three years of motherhood

It’s been a roller coaster ride. Here’s a few things I’ve learned in the journey so far.

Three years ago, I was a newbie mom trying my best to take care of a delicate little baby. I had read the books, asked advice from my mom and absorbed all I could learn about parenting and motherhood.

But as I soon found out, nothing can really prepare me for the first month or the first year of motherhood. It was a rollercoaster ride for me especially since my second angel came just 14 months after the first.

One day I would be filled with so much joy and bask in the glow of being a mother. The next day, I would be so depressed and wonder what have I gotten myself into. I felt like I was going crazy and I literally did crazy things.

But here I am, I have survived. And although, I’m still winging it sometimes, I’ve learned a couple of important things from the past three years. I keep them in mind as I strive to be a better wife and mommy every day.

1. Always remember to take care of your FIRST baby.

Remember, the hubby whom you used to take care of and to shower with so much love and attention?

I’ve learned that marriages are really put to the test when you have children. There were several times that my husband had to take a backseat, sometimes even farther than the backseat, when my girls came into the picture.

I remember how I would feel guilty about spending some couple time. When we would leave the kids behind to go out on a date, I would feel like such a bad mother for “neglecting” them.

But truth is, amping up the relationship ante becomes even more important with the babies around. I had to remember that my husband is just as important as my children and he needs my love and attention too.

We started going out on dates again, both planned and spur of the moment. When we’re together, I make a conscious effort to just focus on my hubby, get rid of any worry or guilt and have fun just like we used to.

This did wonders not just for our relationship, but also for our relationship with our babies. An important realization for me was:

When our marriage thrives, our whole family thrives with it.

2. Always remember to take care of YOURSELF. Do for yourself what you do for others.

I remember during the first year, I was fat and frumpy. I would feel so bad about myself because I looked like, well, a fat and frumpy mother. Whenever I would look in the mirror, I would wonder where the hot and sexy mama used to be because she certainly doesn’t look like me.

I would feel frustrated about the things I could not do and the places I could not go to. I would lament about how my family takes so much of my time, I couldn’t do anything for myself.

Thankfully, I realized blaming everything and everyone else was useless. Nobody was stopping me from getting back in shape or spending a girl’s night out. Scratch that, actually there was someone stopping me… Me! When I started taking responsibility for myself, things began to change.

I worked out. I enjoyed my long baths. I would set aside time to do a little bit of make – up and to fix my hair. I stopped turning down invitations and started going out again with my friends, with an earlier curfew of course.

Sometimes, I would wake up earlier or I would sleep a little later so I could write in my journal, read a book or just do anything I want to do.

The result: I felt more balanced. I felt happier. I enjoyed spending time with my babies more. I realized I was taking better care of them when I started taking better care of myself.

3. Always remember that, even if you can’t be the perfect mom, you will always be the BEST mom for your kids.

Yes, sometimes I won’t know what to do and I’ll feel like I’m bungling up my parenting duty. Other times I’ll lose my temper and shout at my girls when they get extra naughty. Sometimes I’d spend too much time on my computer and too little time with them.

Sometimes I’ll wonder if I’m being a good mother and if I’m doing enough to make my daughters feel they are loved and cared for. Am I disciplining them enough? Will I be good enough to raise them to be the best they can be?

I can only be sure of one thing right now: I love my children to the ends of the Universe and I will always do what I can to make them happy.

When God made us, I do believe that He made our hearts just a little bit bigger, our bodies even tougher and our spirits much, much stronger to fulfill the lifetime mission of being mothers.

My girls were given to me for a reason. I know He knew I am the best mother for them and nobody can love them as much as I do.